Dark

I wish i could stop wishing. there seems to be just no end to it. wishes make me vulnerable. wishes make me weak. wishes tell me i had not done things properly and someone else was in control of my life. but it not so. i believe. i believe in my sanity and reasoning. i believe what i did when i did was what was required to be done then. regrets - i seldom have. the lesser the regrets the lesser the wishes. when i portrayed what i was to who i wanted to, i wanted them to take me as i am. i am a packaged deal, take it or leave it. i do what i think i can do best and what is worthy of doing. i dont think if others mind my words or actions. for those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter. i believe in sins as much as i believe in goodness. for without the one the other is meaningless. i believe life is binary - zeroes and ones. if one exists the other has to. chose which one you want to be, but can not deny or disbelieve the other. i am zero, i am nemo, i am just another side of the coin - the dark side of the moon, the base of the lamp. i am darkness. but without darkness you just can not appreciate light. i do not appreciate light. i can not appreciate light. it makes a person a hypocrite. there is no gurantee that light is good. light kills. light kills innocent animals. the sun will kill anything that approaches it. light comes from fire and fire burns. darkness doesnt burn. darkness doesnt kill. darkness gives new life. like within an egg. darkness brings out light. like developing a negative. i am dark. and i am bloody happy about it.like me? good. not so? deal with it - its your problem.